I Need A Hero

Its a recurring theme when it comes to my reviews of films from the superhero genre but it would be remiss of me to not make you the reader aware of a couple of things before you read on just in case you're new here and aren't aware of where I'm coming from.

Everyone who knows me will tell you that I am a comic book geek and that my company of choice when it comes to reading material is DC over Marvel. When it comes to movies however I will be the first to admit that the MCU kicks the ass of the DCEU as we have yet to see a good film from the house that Batman built. I am of course referring to the modern DC movies post Christ Nolans trilogy as frankly Man of Steel, Batfleck vs Superville and Suicide Squad have in their own unique ways been pretty bad.

That said however its not just Zach Synder and co who aren't pulling their weight at the moment as I have become jaded to the entire genre in recent times, not really finding much to enjoy about anything from Marvel since Civil War. True the Marvel output since then has been better than the DC stuff on offer but it still has felt a little dull and repetative to me, leaving me cold to the likes of Infinity War and on the other side of the equation the Justice League.

Then however a certain little trailer dropped that reignited my desire to see a new superhero movie when we got the first teaser for the third Thor movie Thor Ragnarok. That trailer was and still is my one of my favourite of all time although it has been usurped by the genius that was the Thriller trailer for Stranger Things season 2.

So I avoided all other trailers for Ragnarok as I didn't want the movie to be spoiled for me and I went into watching it with high expectations and the feeling that this could be the film that started the ball rolling once again in the heart of this particular fanboy. Afterall if the trailer was as fantastic as it was then the movie had to be awesome right? Boy oh boy could I not have been more wrong.

We begin with Thor being held prisoner by the fire demon Surtur who informs the God of Thunder than Odin is gone from Asgard and that once he unites his crown with the Eternal Flame Ragnarok (the end of Asgard) will occur. Thor obviously escapes and defeats a ton of minions before vanquishing Surtur himself. He then heads back to Asgard to see whats afoot. To get there he obviously travels via the Bifrost although he discovers it is no longer being run by his buddy Heimdall who has been on the run ever since Loki began pretending to be Odin. Heimdall has been replaced by Skurge (played by Karl Urban) and it is here that it first starts to become clear that this film is not exactly what I was expecting. You see Skurge is trying to impress the ladies with a collection of things he has taken from across the nine realms and this leads us to the visual of him using a shake weight which yes is every bit as terrible as it sounds.

So Thor uncovers Lokis treachery and forces him to help him track down Odin (I am not going to mention the absolutely pointless Matt Damon cameo that occurs here). After some help from Doctor Strange (and a sequence which is full of the sort of humour that wouldn't look out of place in a three stooges movie) they track down Odin who informs them that their sister Hela (Goddess of Death, played by Cate Blanchett) is coming and that they cannot stop Ragnarok. Odin then dies and Hela shows up to kick their asses. It is during this scene that she destroys Mjolnir, a moment that was awesome in the trailer but not so great in the actual film.

They fight in the Bifrost and Loki and Thor end up on an alien planet called Sakaar which for the layman will mean nothing but to comic book fans will of course be known as the planet that the Hulk crash landed on during the Planet Hulk/World War Hulk story which is greatly truncated here purely for the purposes of squeezing in a Hulk movie of sorts since Marvel do not own the rights to his own solo adventures. As for Hela, well she gets back to Asgard and kills many folks (the entire army) before making Skurge her executioner, a role he is reluctant to take as they telegraph his eventual redemption for later in the movie.

Loki befriends the ruler of Sakaar the Grandmaster (played by Jeff Goldblum) whilst Thor is captured by Scrapper 142 (Tessa Thompson) who is secretly the last of the Valkeries. Thor is then forced to become a fighter as he is promised his freedom if he can beat the Grandmasters champion. Whilst he is awaiting his fight he meets some of the other gladiators and it is here that we are introduced to Korg and Meek who again will be known to readers as members of the Hulks army in the aformentioned Hulk comic book arc. Now it has been sometime since I read Planet Hulk and World War Hulk but I do not remember Korg being a jovial idiot as he is portrayed here and from the first moment his character speaks I was left with the sudden urge to facepalm with a great deal of force.

It all leads of course is the well publicised fight between Thor and Hulk which is good but seems to drag on forever. Thor eventually looks like he has the win in the bag until the Grandmaster cheats which allows Hulk to finish of Odins favorite son.

After this we get some banter between Thor and Hulk (who it turns out has been Bannerless for two years) and has obtained the power of not only speech but a certain degree of intelligence. This is ok in small doses but not unlike the fight between the two Avengers it just goes on forever and is so overdone that it becomes both tiresome and ridiculous. This portion of the film is also rammed full of the same forced humor we have been treated too throughout the rest of the movie, a humor which for me just felt forced and didn't work.

They of course eventually escape through the 'Devils Anus' (god i wish I was making that up but I'm really not) and the Revengers (Thor, Hulk and Scrapper, name picked by Thor) head off for Asgard to defeat Hela. Oh and I forgot to mention that Hulk has reverted back to Banner at this point for no other reason apparently other than to ram home the point that he is losing control of his battle to tame the beast within.

Speaking of Hela she finds herself stuck on Asgard after Heimdall steals the Bifrost sword and she goes to get it back from him just as Thor and co arrive back in Asgard for the final battle.

So Hulk fights Helas giant dog whilst the Heimdall teams with Scrapper and Loki (who has hitched a ride with Korg and the gladiators) to battle Helas army of the undead. Thor meanwhile battles Hela and ends up blinded in one eye just like Odin.

Eventually it all comes down to Hela against the heroes and Thor realises the only way to beat her is to allow Ragnarok to happen so he gets Loki to resurrect Surtur to destroy his sister and Asgard whilst all the good guys leg it on the gladiators ship. Thor is then names King and vows to rebuild Asgard on Earth though I'm not sure how thats going to work.

There are two post credit scenes, one in which Thors ship comes across another one in space and the other where the Grandmasters people are still battling the revolution that Thor and co began.

So that was Thor Ragnarok, the movie that I had hoped would bring me back into the superhero fold but actually ended up putting the final nail in the coffin of my desire to see anymore films of this genre.

I get what they were going for but in trying to make it a funny superhero movie they went too far and made the humor so obtrusive that it became unfunny. All of the things that looked so good in that original trailer were shown to be misleading by which I mean that in small doses they seemed great but in the bigger picture they were just a mess. For instance, Hela looked like a badass in the trailer but in the actual film she comes across as just another failed MCU villain. Skurge looked pretty badass too in the trailer but in the film he is nothing more than a joke and the amount that the Hulk actually talks in this film is stupid and does not work, in this respect less would definately have been more.

As I've already said the Thor Ragnarok trailer filled me full of hope and left me thinking that it may be the film that would be the film that made me love the genre again, instead it is actually one of the dumbest superhero movies I have seen. True it is not as bad as Iron Man 3 or any of the DCEU films but it has so many shortcomings that at the writing of this review I have zero desire to watch anymore superhero movies for a long long time.

And all of this is not to mention the nonstop CGI that this bombards you with right from the outset. Right from the get go this film smacks you over the head with its colourset and overblown set pieces and after the opening 10 minutes or so I was just waiting for it to end.

As for a score I'm going to give Thor Ragnarok a 5 out of 10. As I've said it is not the worst film you will ever see (both Geostorm and Ghost in a Shell that I have recently watched are worse) but I expected so much and it failed to deliver.